she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
