she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There's always time for handjobs
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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