That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize