I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize