my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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