You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
