I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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