It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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