Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
