i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
