Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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