That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Someone came in the potted fern
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Randomize