his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
smell my finger.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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