I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
