Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
