i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
