I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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