I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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