Fuck appropriateness.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
