I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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