She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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