Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
He felt like a one man threesome
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize