How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
