Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
