i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
