Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize