Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
