I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we're making bets on your personal life
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
a search helicopter?!
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
