Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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