yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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