Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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