if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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