that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
