After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i think my cat just said my name.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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