I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
