I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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