So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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