Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We were destined to go to rehab together
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
