whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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