you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
