Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
