I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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