I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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