Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
