my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
