He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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