just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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