You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
