My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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