blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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