I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
