ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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