apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
