Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
