You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Randomize
