belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
