you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Drake has all the answers
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
