Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
