I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
