Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
