Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
