capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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