Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
