you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
