new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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