There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
