Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
